Well here we are folks. The end of 2012. This year has been full of ups and downs; but that's a good thing. We need balance. Without the bad moments, we wouldn't know how to appreciate the good ones. The past two years have been the most eye opening years of my life. I feel like at a certain point in July 2010 I felt a shift. I started to change into the person I've always wanted to be. It just took some courage to leave the old me behind. Now two and a half years later, I may not be who I want to be just yet but I'm on my way and I know I'm on the right path...and I'm in no hurry to get there.
I'm learning everyday about the things I do want and things I don't. I don't have anyone rushing me to get to the finish line telling me "people your age should have it all figured out by now." Life is not a contest nor a race. While those fears do sometimes cripple me, I'm refusing to give in to them. I'm refusing to stop learning after I figure a few things out. Truth is, life is about learning. We're not supposed to know everything and it's taken me a while to be okay with that.
12 is my lucky number. 2012 has been a lucky year. A year ago this week, I made the best decision of my life thus far: to enroll in a Freelance Writing class. For years I struggled with figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. Turns out I had what I needed all along. I've been writing since I learned the alphabet; it's just a part of who I am. This past February, I discovered Buzznet. I was looking for a place to share my writing and introduce new music to people. This site has been such a blessing and I cannot thank each and every one of you who have buzzed, commented, reblogged, shared and featured my posts. Your encouragement means the world to me. I finally feel like I belong somewhere. I also want to thank all of the bands I've featured for being so incredibly kind. I've got you guys covered! ;)
2012 has also been a very good year for epic concerts. If you read my blog, I'm sure you all know how much I love the band Garbage and how I got to see them live for the first time ever this past May. I never imagined I'd be able to do that. I've also never cried so many happy tears in public in my life. Shirley Manson pretty much saved me about ten years ago with "The Trick Is To Keep Breathing" and when I listen to that song now, ten years later, it's like I've come full circle. All because I kept breathing. It also made me realize that I'm stronger than I thought I was. "Maybe you'll get what you want this time around..." Being able to experience that show made me wonder what else is possible...
As for New Year's resolutions, my only resolution is to not make any. Set goals for yourself everyday but understand that it's ok to break some of them. Trust God, or whatever you want to believe in. It's ok to make mistakes. Don't rush your life away because you want to be "in check" with everybody else. You were born an individual; stand on your own two feet and go on your own journey. Don't look for acceptance in anyone else; believe in yourself. All of this is so crucial to getting to where you want to be. My biggest fear has always been not being able to fulfill my true calling in life. That fear motivated me to stop thinking I'm not good enough and to just go do whatever I need to do. In 2013 I vow to take as many chances as I can. Every chance you take opens up another door of opportunity.
14 year old me would of thought I was insane for being so positive. 14 year old me wanted a way out of the misery but didn't know how other than to keep breathing. If you're currently feeling lost, just stay strong, keep calm and breathe.
"...know that things can turn around in the blink of an eye so do not despair. Hold fast. Hold . Hold. And just keep breathing......" - Shirley Manson
Here's to another year, Buzznet! I can't wait to see what this year holds! Stay tuned!
Bring it on, 2013! ;)
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